


Magically Delicious

by FaygoMayhem



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Cereal, Chill XV, Crack Fic, Gen, Ignis is a hidden dork, Secrets
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-12
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2019-01-16 10:25:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12340815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FaygoMayhem/pseuds/FaygoMayhem
Summary: Ignis has a lot of secrets; Noctis is not amused





	Magically Delicious

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Twitchy_Pendulum](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twitchy_Pendulum/gifts).



> This spawned from a conversation about how I would ship Ignis with a cereal box, and I'm not sorry. Thanks go to Twitchy_Pendulum for idea bouncing and the Chill XV Discord group for generally being awesome.

 

People assumed many things about Ignis Scientia. As the primary advisor and chamberlain to Prince Noctis, and the youngest member in recent history to sit on the King’s Council, it was important that he maintain a strict buttoned up image of dignity and composure lest the other members of the nobility use his youth as an excuse to discount his knowledge and opinions in the Court.

His stiff mannerisms and no-nonsense fussing over the wayward Crown Prince often led to the belief that he was something of a stick in the mud that wouldn’t know how to loosen up and have fun even if presented with a manual. For the most part, the opinions of other people didn’t matter to him, and he was constantly turning a deaf ear to whispered comments accusing him of being a robot or an ice queen.

Oh what those people would do if they ever bothered trying to take a glimpse into his private life.

Ignis regularly amused himself picturing the looks of shock and betrayal on the faces of even his closest friends if they ever were to sneak into his apartment and discover the MP3 player full of auto-tuned Bubblegum Pop music he would blare while trying to stay awake reading mindless reports at all hours of the morning; the complete set of special edition King’s Knight figurines he’d painstakingly tracked down over the years; the vacuum sealed, mint condition, copies of the entire Astral Wars comic series; or the ever-growing collection of novelty Tonberry Cook t-shirts he never wore, but for some reason couldn’t stop buying.

He’d likely be skinned alive by Noctis and the others if they had ever discovered that Ignis -eat-your-vegetables- Scientia kept almost nothing in his refrigerator but canned coffee and miscellaneous condiments, or that his cupboards contained no less than twelve opened boxes of Marshmallow ChocoMog cereal, each with every single marshmallow carefully removed.

Yes, that would be embarrassing to explain indeed.

That particular habit had started with nothing but the purest intentions. When the cereal had first come on the market, Noctis had become enamored with the concept of eating nothing but pure sugar for breakfast and immediately demanded that Ignis get him a box the next time he went shopping.

Concerned about the addition to the Prince’s already abysmal diet, he had purchased the box as asked but took an extra step to painstakingly remove every single lump of concentrated sugar from the otherwise bland cereal before serving it to his charge, claiming the name as an inventive marketing tactic. Noctis had been disappointed, but had devoured the entire box anyway and then, to Ignis’ dismay, demand that he purchase more.

Needless to say, Ignis spent a lot of time picking out the tiny marshmallows. Noctis never suspected anything, and Ignis was almost proud of himself for being so devious. His plan was working marvelously….until the day that Noctis had gotten home unexpectedly early and almost caught him in the act.

In a moment of panic he shoved an entire handful of marshmallows in his mouth to keep the Prince from discovering his secret, cringing as he struggled to chew and swallow the lumpy mass that tasted of a poorly executed prank to hide chalk dust in powdered sugar. Thankfully Noctis remained oblivious to his actions and he was saved from having to confess his deception, even if it did take the better part of a day to get the saccharine taste out of his mouth.

The next time he was faced with the marshmallows he found himself morbidly curious. How could the company be turning a profit off a product that tasted that bad? There had to be some explanation. Perhaps they were better when consumed individually instead of all at once? To test his theory he popped one of the yellow morsels only barely resembling a Chocobo in his mouth.

While he did admit that it was more tolerable, it was still far from something he would call tasty. Shrugging, he ate one of the Moogles to see if the different colors had any effect on the flavor. It didn’t, so he ate another one to see if eating multiples of the same type did anything. Before he knew it, he had consumed the entire box’s worth of tiny marshmallows in different combinations trying to explain the allure to himself.

He still didn’t get it, but at least that time he wasn’t wasting food.

A few days later, he was working late into the night when his stomach gave an agitated rumble. He’d been forced once again to skip both lunch and dinner in favor of getting all his work done and was now suffering the consequence. He halfheartedly searched his kitchen for something to eat, knowing that there wasn’t much there, and found himself faced with one of the yet unopened boxes of ChocoMog cereal that he’d started bringing home to reduce his chances of being caught again.

With a heavy sigh, he opened the box and stuffed a handful of the cereal in his mouth, figuring that it had to better than another ketchup sandwich. Somehow, the regular cereal managed to taste even _worse_ than just the marshmallows and he once again found himself picking out the little lumps of sugar so he could eat them individually and fend off starvation. It was far from ideal, but as hungry as he was this time they actually managed to taste rather decent.

Going forward, whenever he had to pick the marshmallows out of Noctis’ cereal he would save them in a little baggie to use as an emergency food source when he just couldn’t be bothered to eat anything else, rationalizing that the burst of sugar would at least keep him awake long enough to eat something more substantial, though that was hardly ever the case. He really should have been able to identify the beginnings of a habit when he started having to purchase several boxes of the cereal for _himself_ because he was eating the marshmallows faster than Noctis would go through his own box.

Before he knew it he was carrying little bags of them everywhere, hardly able to go even an hour without popping a handful of them in his mouth. He would sneak them during meetings, after training sessions and before picking Noctis up from school. They became a staple of his late night diet and he even found himself deliriously playing with them after a stressful day instead of reading his piles of reports.

 It was a problem, but one he had no intention of actually stopping. He owed it to himself to take the little pleasures in life.


End file.
